I’m a 30 years old (maybe cis) gay man born and raised in an average town in the south of France (Montpellier) but for now, the story of my life can be shared in 3 cities: Montpellier, Berlin and Lille. When I was a kid, I fell in love with the German language as my family is originally from Spain and France so it was kind of a mysterious secret code to me, that no one else could understand. The learning of German was kind of my “own safe place” because I always was kind of a “girly” boy in the eyes of others. I felt out of place most of the time.
In 2010, I had the opportunity to go to Germany for an Erasmus year. At first, I wanted to go to a small town called Tübingen. The city was medieval, the nature was green and the people are supposed to be way more open-minded there than in the south of France. Can you imagine what it meant for me? I would be able to leave my family and everything that constantly reminded me that I was different. I would be able to see green landscapes and maybe… be accepted? One day, the headmistress of the German department of my university told me: “Geoffrey, you are a free minded party bird. Don’t go to Tübingen, go to Berlin. There’s only one place left in the Erasmus program: it’s for you.”
And there I was, 6 months later, flying to Berlin with 2 big bags full of clothes, my computer and some papers and pens for the lessons. Flying to a fully unknown city, back in 2010, wasn’t as famous as it is today. I didn’t have a clue of the life I would live for the next 3 years (yes, I stayed there 2 more years after my Erasmus-year).
I quickly met a man there, who became my boyfriend for 2 years. My time was shared between studying, partying and discovering my sexuality. We were in an open relationship and that was a good thing! Because what’s the point of living in Berlin without experimenting with the intense and free sex life. Before I came to Berlin, I had slept with men, but everything was always hidden and secretive. Even my closest friends had never heard about what I was starving to experiment and to discover. I already went to saunas in France but the ones here are way more fun (and way cleaner too…), I also discovered some cruising areas, some fun urinals and the start of the social networks such as Gayromeo, Grindr etc. I had no money, I had a shitty job, but I was free to discover who I really was through the lens of sexuality.
After I broke up with my boyfriend, I discovered how parties and sex were really linked to one another. I met this guy “J.” he once told me: “Dress a little whory, we’re going to a bar in Nollendorf Platz.” So we went to this bar and there were a thousand men, every kind of them. Bears, twinks, chasers, hunks, black, white, Asian… The bar was small and the temperature was really hot inside compared to the cold winter that was going on outside. We sat there and drank our beers. First, one, then two, and soon I drank tons of liter and became drunk as fuck. I danced, chatted with men, they got closer and closer to me. We danced together. I kissed one of them. Then two… and soon I kissed tons of them!
I was so turned on. Everyone was. There was a darkroom in the bar, but I didn’t want to have sex there, I wanted to see with whom I was having it. So I took my cock out and started wanking so that anyone could come and get it. I ended up getting sucked in the bar by a blond Austrian guy who was visiting Berlin for a week, in front of a bunch of drunk hot gays dancing and minding their own business… At that point, I really understood what sexual freedom really is.
I left Berlin and went back to France France to become a German teacher and show teenagers how Germany (and especially Berlin) can be a salvation when you want to live your life freely and feel accepted. I don’t think I would have been the person I am today and think the way I think today if I haven’t had lived in Berlin. Now I live in Lille and have never stopped discovering new sexual things. I always keep on learning about how to be free. Because, believe it or not, if you can break the chains of sexuality, you’ll be able to break any other chains.
