We live in a world full of stories. They happen all the time and we easily stumble in an ocean of endless stories, but they tend to pass as a breeze and we often tend to lose them. If only we could collapse them all inside of us, we probably would have learned some lessons for life. For this reason it was difficult for me to choose which one I wanted to tell. They obviously are not all happy stories, but I wanted to write a tale, a love story so I could share the intimacy.
I would love to tell you that I met him in the high school prom and he was just that gorgeous guy with who I shared that blink of an eye. But it wasn’t… This all started with me, José, Portuguese, 26 years old, the famous app Tinder and the right movement to the right which led to a match with João, 27 years old. Unexpected and unpretentious were the words that best define the way both of us talked to each other but I was, in fact, charmed by his appearance…
After days of online conversation, we fixed a date on Sunday,the 24th March, on a terrace in front of the beach. I gave him a ride to the beach and 3 hours passed away with me sharing some of my trips…not of many words, he laughed along… It was not a hot day, but it was really sunny and the sky delighted us with an exquisite sunset, which defined the end of that day… I dropped him off at home. Not sure how to say goodbye, I waited for his reaction. Then he said “Can I hug you?”. We hugged and that was firework! When I arrived at home, I got a message from him “I would have loved to kiss you”.
It felt crazy since the first moment, and for the following days, the same thought was lingering in my mind. I was so insecure about everything related to him, that for a couple of times I doubted I could really conquer that smile. Most of all, I wondered, every time, his quietness, his speechless way of spending time with me… Once, I took him to a rooftop so we could appreciate another sunset together. Nice live jazz music, a nice afternoon and his company… probably it was the day when I figured out I could actually enjoy his company without me talking all the time. In that quiet moment, for the first time, I felt that I could share silence and that emptiness of word could have a substantial meaning.
Our time together was great. He started to share more and more with me and I felt already being a part of his life… João has something special about him, he needs time so he can be confident with someone, but once that confidence grows, it grows bigger and bigger if you just let him be himself. In return, I wanted to show him that, undoubtedly, he was the future I wanted for me. That night I cried in front of him. Not because I was sad, but because I wanted to share this world so bad with him. “I don’t pretend to ask you to be my boyfriend, not today, but I want you to know that I’ll do whatever it takes so that this wish can be true”, I said. At that night, both of us, I believe, discovered that our future could belong together.
For a month and a half after the first date, we are living the teenager dream: frenetic love, soft kisses and the desire of sharing sexual intimacy. On the 10th of May, we went to the beach on a clear night. Both of us had a special connection with the sea… And in the middle of a cute moment, João says “I need to pee!”. IIn a rush, he got out of the car and went to the middle of the dunes. I walked on the beach, hearing the waves in front of me. Then he came and looked into my eyes. “I want you to be mine,” he began, “after all that we shared, I think we belong together.”
In a glance, the cute guy in front of me put his hand inside the pocket of his hoodie and took out a small box. Inside of it, there were two small bracelets, one for each of us. Then the words came out of his mouth: “Do you wanna be my boyfriend?”. I took him in my harms, lifted him up and gave him a “yes” full of kisses. Today I do not know what the future has for us, nor how much time we’ll have to be together, but I do know that the clock stopped at that night. The time is frozen. I could still feel the sand and the breeze on my skin, as I feel every word we said in that day. This is our eternity.
