I came to Paris 6 years ago now and my life has completely changed.
I grew up in a small town in the West of France, I didn’t felt true to myself back then as I didn’t have other guys like me to turn to or to support each other. I was the different guy, easy to laughing at. For example, for my first kiss, I had to sneak out from my parents house in the middle of the night to meet a guy in his car that I met online. I was hiding who I am, as a result I was not at peace.
So I was so excited to come to this big city. I started a fashion school where it felt like I found my place. Many other boys were like me. Being gay wasn’t a problem. I was so relieved. That allowed me to focus on myself, to found who I am. I started to express myself threw my clothes, my haircut and my tattoos, somehow I was owning my body that I began to discover more and more of, and to play and have fun with.
I really blossomed during these years. It wasn’t always easy, of course there were critiques et judgement but it forged me to learn not to care about those bad vibes and to presume who I am.
Working in fashion is so fun for me. Being a pattern maker is to solve problems. I find a lot of creativity through technicality. But sometimes it’s also troublesome to be part of one of the most polluting industries. The mass production of clothing is destroying the environment and the health of population. There is so much waste. Also the rhythm of work is really intense, just for garments that will be shown for a few minutes then forgotten as soon as new ones appear. So I think that I’ll have to find the best place for me to conciliate my creativity and my ethics but I’m confident about the future as I see a lot of young designer coming up with real good intentions and dedications.
I quickly started to use gay apps when I arrived in Paris. It was so exciting, so easy, I used to hook up a lot, once I went to meet 3 differents guys on the same day. But after a certain time I realised all the time and energy I lost on this was not , some guys were so toxic, also I never found what I really wanted, every time when I developed feelings, I ended up being ghosted. I couldn’t protect myself anymore so I decided to delete it.
But in last February I dowloaded tinder again just to give another try and I met a guy during the lockdown. I think that it allowed us to talk a lot, we discovered more and more about each other and realised we had a lot in common. Now we are together. It’s the first time I’m in a relationship. That sounds like a new adventure for me, something I never tried before and I’m excited to see where things will go.