I was born in 1981, in a city in what was then East Germany. From the beginning, I was a quiet, introverted child — someone who preferred to observe rather than to be seen. I always felt a little out of step with the world around me. When the Wall fell and Germany reunified, it was supposed to be a time of hope. But for my family, it was the start of something else — something harder. My parents struggled to find their footing in the new world, and as they lost their way, I lost almost everything I had known. Stability, security, even a clear sense of home — they all slipped through my fingers.
At school, I became the “poor, weird kid,” the outsider. Children can be cruel, and their words left marks that time hasn’t completely erased. To this day, I still carry the scars of feeling not good enough, not wanted, not seen. As I grew older, I had to face another part of myself: I was gay. In a perfect world, that would have been just another detail about who I was. But in reality, even within the LGBTQ+ community, I often felt judged — not enough, not pretty enough, not loud or perfect enough for a world that sometimes seems obsessed with appearances.
And yet, despite everything, I kept moving forward. It wasn’t easy. There were setbacks, doubts, dark nights where I questioned if I was ever really going to find my place. Somehow, I built a life — piece by piece, step by step. Today, I stand on my own two feet. I travel the world, I celebrate life, I dance under city lights, and yes — in true cliché fashion — I love to party.
Still, self-confidence is something I haven’t fully mastered. Doubts linger, and sometimes my shyness and insecurity create a distance that I don’t mean to put there. I know I can come across as reserved, maybe even cold — but the truth is, I feel deeply. I care deeply. I don’t always have all the answers. I don’t always move through life with boldness or certainty. But every day, I try — to be kind, to be open, to live honestly. And maybe that’s enough: to keep showing up with a good heart, even when it’s hard.
