Small town boy
Growing up as a feminine boy in a small town of a conservative country, life was not fun. The world around me insisted on a single narrative: adult life was meant to be shared with one person – and that should be your wife.
Something in me always felt different and I was scared to discuss it with myself. But when I was 15 I vividly remember the moment everything clicked — turning around in the middle of a busy street to look at another big guy. It was a moment of revelation. My gaze was floating from his big muscled arms thru his huge wide shoulders all the way to his juicy ass and then he turned around and his big bulge completely paralyzed me. In that split second, i realized – I love man. Big, older, hairy, muscular man.
As I grew older, the small town became even smaller and it started suffocating me. For years, fear kept me trapped, afraid to leave behind the only world i knew. But on my 26th birthday, i made a life-changing decision to move to a bigger city.
The Big City
The city helped me outgrow my fears and start discovering myself in every possible way. My professional life took off, my social life expanded and most of all my sexual desires exploded. My kinky side came up to the front and she was not going anywhere, so I needed to go somewhere.
Faceless Grindr profiles, closeted boys, mean ‘girls’ was not what I signed up for.
For them, I was either ‘too old and muscular’ to be a twink or ‘too skinny and feminine’ to be a straight looking dude and ‘too nasty and perverted’ to be a decent gay man. It felt like, just as I scratched the surface, my desires are pushed back again. I realized that The Big City wasn’t as big as I thought.
Citizen of my own world
As I started visiting places all over the Europe my kinky side grew bigger and my confidence grew stronger. In Greece I fell in love with being completely naked outdoor. Brussels I discovered I like lace (and leather), in Madrid I discovered I love bb, in Paris I fall in love with water sports and in Amsterdam i released I like to handle multiple guys at once – but then I visited Gran Canaria. A magical place where all my loves, desires and fantasies came together.
The sun and the ocean, big beaches and nice hotels but most importantly naked men – young, old, big, slim, fit, muscular all types of beautiful naked men. And kinky too. Pride parties, naked pool parties, naked club parties, water sport parties – I was in heaven. Never before i felt desired this much and on top of it, not judged. No one cared if I was skinny, fem, too old or too young. Guys here knew the point – to enjoy life and have fun. I was finally free to be who I wanted to be, and it felt incredible. And that’s exactly what I did. Lots and loads of.. fun.