Growing up, I never imagined I’d find comfort in my own skin. I was shy, always blending into the background, feeling like I didn’t belong. Teased for being effeminate since I was six, my late puberty only added to the bullying. My voice didn’t break until I was sixteen, and I was pale and underweight. The teasing for being gay hurt the most, because it was something I couldn’t change, unlike my appearance. Their words stayed with me, deepening my insecurities and leaving me constantly self-conscious about what others thought.
At 16, I decided to change things. I started going to the gym to build confidence, but also to gain approval from the world. I wasn’t one to follow the crowd, but I longed to feel accepted. The gym became my refuge, where I could focus on what I could control. Over time, it gave me discipline and pride, though the social anxiety didn’t go away.
My journey took a turn when I discovered nudism. As I learned more about it, I became intrigued. It wasn’t about appearances; it was about freedom, equality, and embracing your natural self. I joined a nudist Discord group, where I could try naked yoga. I was very hesitant at first, as I didn’t want to expose myself to random strangers online. However, I took a leap of faith, and I enjoyed it so much that I continued naked yoga for quite a while, and also building connections with other nudist gay men from around the world.
My first in-person nudist event was an exhibition by the Belgian Naturist Federation. Walking in and undressing was nerve-wracking, but I quickly got used to it. That event was a turning point, introducing me to a supportive community. I actually got to know a lot of people from all walks of life in a short amount of time, and made many friends. Nudism helped me shed not only my clothes but also societal expectations. I stopped seeking validation from others and started valuing myself for who I truly am. Vulnerability became a strength, allowing me to connect with others in ways I never thought possible.
Now, I realize that by gradually confronting my fears, I began to desensitize myself to the shame and vulnerability that had been tied to my self-image. This gradual exposure helped me challenge the negative beliefs about myself that stemmed from past trauma. In addition to exposure, nudism also encouraged self-acceptance and self-compassion.
When the chance to collaborate with Chris came, I hesitated. But then I thought about how far I’ve come. This wasn’t just about posing for a magazine; it was about celebrating my journey from a scared, insecure kid to someone who could stand tall and proud in their own skin. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that true freedom comes when we embrace ourselves fully, imperfections and all. In doing so, we find not only acceptance but also the courage to live authentically, no matter what the world thinks.
