When I was asked to describe a specific moment in my life for the Tale of Men project, I immediately thought of my coming out, because it represents a turning point in my life.

From my childhood, I remember the many friends, the music, the activities; always in a group, always accompanied and yet so alone. A complex balance between joie de vivre and a shadow that follows me.
A strange feeling of being different.

My teenage years were marked by numerous parties where we got drunk, discovered ourselves, and questioned ourselves.

Those girls so beautiful but so frightening, those boys so different but so attractive. Who am I?
I don’t want to be different. The secret begins.

As an adult, couples form. Popular, I respond with humour, skilfully dodging questions about this strange loneliness.

I don’t want to be different. The secret grows.

Questions about sex make me uncomfortable. I am ignorant. Should I lie, invent a life for myself to be included in the group?

Loneliness weighs heavily on me, it will end badly. I find the courage to sign up for an app. I encounter a man’s body; his muscles, his hair, his smell, his power. There is no more avoiding it. In the privacy of a bedroom, I am finally myself. I want more, I want to discover everything. Sex, more and more sex, years of sex in the night. When daylight comes, I have to face up to it.

I don’t want to be different, the secret is suffocating me.

Among all these men, I will see one regularly, I will sleep with him, I will laugh with him, I will live with him, I will love him, I will suffocate him with my fear.

I want to be myself, the secret is no longer tenable.

A party just the way I like them. Friends, alcohol, dancing bodies. I find myself alone with a friend. She says to me, ‘I’ll tell you a secret if you tell me one.’ She’s setting a trap for me. But isn’t it time to lay down your arms? Don’t you have the right to be yourself, in peace?

• ‘I’m gay!’
• ‘We always knew.’
  So many years of loneliness, depression, wanting to disappear for so little. How can you do that to yourself just out of fear?
  Yet that simple, liberating sentence saved my life.
  Today, I like to pose naked, without a shell. To show the body I’ve learned to love so I no longer have to hide.

SEE MORE PATRON CONTENT: JULIEN

In this chaos that’s supposed to be life, there”s some deep comfort in the act of transformation. It’s in this complex dance of being and becoming that I found a kind of liberation — the freedom to embody the
spirit of a dog.

Let me introduce you to Buday, not a canine of flesh and bone, but an alter ego kinda, born from the depths of my imagination. On the surface, it might seem like an escape, a retreat from the human existence into the playful guise of a dog. But look a little deeper, and you’ll find it’s more than that.

Life, as we all live it, can be super complex. It’s a maze of decisions, responsibilities, expectations, and the relentless pursuit of something that often feels just beyond grasp. In this whirlwind of existence, Buday became my sanctuary, a persona that allowed me to shed the weight of the world and embrace the implicity of being.

Becoming Buday, wearing the mask, was like stepping into a new world where the rules of human life momentarily paused. It was in these moments, that I rediscovered the joy in the simple, the beauty in the
trivial, and the profound peace in the act of just ‘being’ a good boy.

There’s something remarkably freeing about viewing the world through the eyes of a creature unburdened by the complexities of human society. As Buday, I’m not just mimicking the physicality of a dog; I’m embodying the essence of what it means to be a dog — the unconditional love, the boundless joy in simple pleasures, and the uninhibited expression of emotion.

This transformation is of course  not without its challenges. Society, with its rigid norms and silent judgments, often views such acts of self-expression with skepticism. Yet, it is in the face of these challenges that Buday’s true purpose crystalized. He became my symbol, not just of escapism, but of resilience, of the courage to embrace one’s true self in a world that tries to fit us into neatly labeled boxes.

The most profound encounter in my journey as Buday happened in an unexpected place — a community event, where others who shared this unique form of expression gathered. Among them, I met another soul, in the disguise of a dog. The connection was immediate, breaking of the barriers that often hinder human interaction. In our silent understanding, our playful antics, there was a conversation deeper than
words could ever convey.

This interaction  was a strong  reminder of the inherent need for connection, for finding kinship in shared experiences, even those as unconventional as ours. It was to the power of finding one’s pack, of the comfort and strength that comes from knowing you’re not alone in your journey.

So, as I reflect on the path that led me to Buday, I see more than just an escape. I see a journey of self-discovery, the power of play, and a reminder of the essential joy that lies in the heart of simplicity. But hey, sometimes it’s okay to just be a puppy, to let go of the mask and embrace the simple joy of wagging your tail to the small things in life. Remember Buday? Once he puts on his mask, he’s not just Buday; he’s a symbol of transformation, reminding us all to nourish our inner child and find strength in our true selves.

MORE PATRON CONTENT: PUPBUDDY

It all began as a typical Grindr date. From the start, it was clear: Themis already had a partner and wasn’t looking for anything serious, while Nikolas was still recovering from his most recent breakup. We met on a chilly winter evening in Athens at a café, and the date ended, quite naturally, at Nikolas’s place.

Three and a half years later, here we are: the two of us sharing a city change, career shifts, countless trips together, and endless memories. Nikolas moved from web design into the world of therapy, massage, and bodywork. Themis relocated to Brussels, choosing a fresh start away from Athens. Big, scary moves, made possible through the support of one to the other.

We balance each other in the little things: Nikolas is always early (lateness stresses him out) while Themis is perpetually late. Nikolas is a fan of series, while Themis has barely seen more than a couple. Nikolas is more introvert enjoying time with himself while Themis likes going out, meeting with friends. But we share many common pleasures, like nature, nudism, and french fries..

Our relationship gets deepen everyday, perhaps as is the case for many relationships, but it truly feels like we’re growing and healing together, discovering more about ourselves. Being a gay couple in an open, long-distance relationship requires transparency, the clear expression of needs, boundaries, and desires. It isn’t always easy to communicate honestly, especially when you’ve grown up in a society that didn’t model or support that kind of openness.

There’s always the underlying fear of judgment or rejection or conflict. Yet the more we build trust and safety, the more we can be our true selves (the more we can understand who these true selves are), set boundaries and honor them. And creating safety and trust is not something easy. For Nikolas, it means expressing the hard truths, for Themis it means reassuring that having a different opinion does not mean that i cannot love you. There’s a vulnerability there, but true connection lies in that vulnerability. And from true connection emerges the possibility of a shared life.

We love exploring, experimenting, discovering, playing, checking what feels better for us. Not without tension, not without conflict, not without hard moments. Themis learns that conflict does not mean separation. Nikolas understands that boundaries do not mean abandonment. And we continue this journey together. After three years and a half, we are very much in love with each other.

MORE PATRON CONTENT: THEMIS & NIKOLAS

I used to think that I was happy on my own. I have been repetitively told the story that I am
enough and that I don’t need others to be happy. I have also been hopping from one city to
the other for the last five years, and hence I became used to having ephemerous friends,
situationships, and the feeling that I belong everywhere and nowhere. I believed the story
that I was told and decided that I could be self-sufficient.

But of course, that doesn’t work that way so easily. I rather became dependent on the
dopamine and thrill of meeting random, interesting, and sometimes sexy guys for brief and
impersonal encounters. I enjoyed those, but they had essentially begun to replace genuine
and meaningful human connections. I was even afraid to open myself to possible friendships
and acquaintances.

Then, I met someone special, and I shifted apart from that vicious circle. He made me realise
that I actually crave deep relations, and that I had been lying to myself because I’d been too
afraid to be vulnerable to others.

Today, this significant other has left, and I am faced with my instinct to go back to my shelf.
This is obviously the easiest path. But at the same time, I also realise that I am actually afraid
to be alone.

I suppose that is, to some extent, what is reflected in these pictures: you can see my journey
inward, trying to find a connection with a stranger that I will probably never see again. I
hope you can see the desire in my eyes to be taken, to be used and misused, and mostly to
be seen. Do you see it there?

My tale is about solitude, but it is also about how we attempt to fill in the gaps that our
emotional needs have, trying to deal with our loneliness and our desire to connect to
something bigger than us.

PATRON CONTENT: FRANCISCO