No one ever really asked me that before. And when the question came, I panicked— as if I had been living a life without ever holding its narrative in my own hands.
I can tell you the story I was given but that’s sad. I can also present you the script I did so far, if you want me to sound cool. But let me tell you what’s real after all.
Maybe that’s because, for so long, I lived a story written by others. You are born, they hand you a name, a shape, a script and you don’t question it. You perform it.
Until something doesn’t fit.
Until you feel like an imposter in your own life, like the etiquette they taught you was designed for someone else.
So you wander. You doubt. You turn against yourself for not aligning.
And then you decide: fine. I’ll become something else.
But even that feels borrowed.
A new label, a new set of rules, just another costume with different stitching. I followed every instruction— the anonymous, the discreet, the masculine, the feminine, the open, the undefined. I did it all, exactly as prescribed.
And still—
here I am.
Somewhere in between. On that thin, trembling line where black and white dissolve into something uncertain.
I try to be gray— you know a mix of black and white , just to exist quietly in the middle.
But something in me refuses.
Because what shines through isn’t gray at all— it’s silver.
Restless and reflective
Silver is not what I became, but what remained when I stopped pretending.
Maybe that’s my story.
Not a fixed identity, but a continuous blurry reflection
A quiet, stubborn fight to belong— to exist— to be seen.
And, perhaps one day, to let go of the script I was given and simply be that restless silver— not a borrowed shape, but the truth pacing inside it, not a life performed, but a heart finally allowed to bit in its own rhythm.
Well, that’s the story so far and looking forward to see what I will become.
About You: • Introduce yourself in a few words. →Woof! Dezydery here, but you can call me Dezy. Based in Warsaw. A nostalgic soul with a soft spot for anime, manga, and pretty much the entire world of animation (my tattoos say it all). Once a Spice Boy, always a Spice Boy. I enjoy long walks, bike rides, horror movies, and dancing like nobody’s watching. Living with Type 1 diabetes, but it is another part of my story.
• Where are you right now (physically or emotionally)? → Physically, I’m in my happy place – my home. Emotionally, I feel grounded and moving in a really good direction
• What is your favorite place on earth? →Anywhere there’s sunshine and people with good energy and a positive attitude.
• What has been on your mind lately? → Embracing change and trusting that beautiful things are on their way.
• What’s a small thing that brings you joy? → Listening to music, eating strawberries, and sharing a really good kiss.
• What’s something people often misunderstand about you? → Sometimes people think I’m judgmental, but it’s really just my resting face. Once I smile, that changes quickly. Deep down, I’m a very warm, sweet, affectionate person that love a good laugh – definitely a hugger.
• Something or someone that you are currently obsessed with? →”Crybaby” and his work of art.
Body & Relationship • What attracts you to someone? → Personality, passion, a great sense of humor… and definitely good music taste.
• What makes you feel desired? →When someone shows genuine interest. Asking about my day, my thoughts, even my dreams. Wanting to spend time together and just be present means everything. Sometimes the smallest gestures say the most. And don’t get me wrong here sexting is also very appreciated.
• What is a part of your body you appreciate? → My legs, bum and penis. I’ve learned to appreciate my body more over time.
• How do you see yourself when you look at your photos? →I see growth. Sometimes it’s hard to believe how much I’ve changed, especially comparing my teenage years to now.
• How has the relationship with your body changed over time? → I’d describe it as a journey toward acceptance and I’m still evolving.
• Red flags and green flags in a relationship/date → Green flag: kindness and respect toward others and oneself. → Red flag: narcissistic behavior or poor communication. Mutual respect is essential.
• Your ideal location for a date? →Anywhere, as long as the person is present and not distracted by their phone.
• Flirty or shy at first? → A little bit of both. Depends on the vibe.
Sex & Intimacy • When do you feel most connected during sex? →Through closeness. Eye contact, affection, and shared energy or spanks.
• What turns you on (physically, emotionally, mentally)? → A great kiss. It’s essential for me.
• What makes a sexual experience feel good beyond the physical? → The connection afterward: talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s presence.
• What do you wish people were more open about when it comes to sex? →Honest conversations about safe sex and well-being. I think gay community is now a bit lost due to chem-sex pandemic.
• Any kinks? → I’m drawn to certain aesthetics. Like strong features(nice thighs), a bit of edge(leather-ish accesories), and confidence.
• Tell us a fantasy of yours. → Experiencing intimacy in zero gravity, something surreal and out of this world, like being in a spaceship surrounded by the universe.
• Use a few words to describe what good sex is to you? → Mutual pleasure, connection, and shared energy.
• Share a memorable experience (without going into too many details): →Last summer moment that felt incredibly immersive and almost otherworldly. I was in my searchimg for new expirance era, and tried ‘shrooms. Sex on shrooms wqs beyond magical and sensual. Like having sex with the universe.
Finally • Tell us one random thing about you: →I once cried watching an episode of Battlestar Galactica. It really stayed with me.
Timothée in Berlin
My name is Timothée, I was born in Geneva, Switzerland.
Since I was a kid, I’ve had a complicated relationship with my body. I was a little chubby growing up, and I often had to deal with comments and jokes from other people. Even when they seemed small or harmless, they stayed with me. For a long time, I looked at my body through other people’s eyes and felt like I never really matched the image I was supposed to have.
When I moved to Berlin in 2017, something slowly started to shift. The city gave me a sense of freedom I hadn’t experienced before. I met people with different ways of living, expressing themselves, and relating to their bodies. Being surrounded by that openness helped me question some of the ideas I had carried for years. I slowly started accepting myself more, even if I didn’t fully realize it at the time.
The real turning point came in 2019, during Whole Festival. I remember looking around and seeing people existing so naturally in their own bodies, dancing, dressing how they wanted, taking up space without apologizing for it.
Something clicked for me that day. For the first time, I wasn’t thinking about hiding parts of myself or wondering how I looked to others. I felt present, free, and comfortable in my own skin. That moment stayed with me.
But acceptance wasn’t a single event. It became a journey.
In 2023, after a period of major changes in my life : a new job and the end of a relationship, I decided to move more and reconnect with my body in a different way. Not to change it, but to experience it.
I started swimming, and very quickly it took an important place in my life. Swimming became more than exercise: it became a space where I could feel strong, calm, and connected to myself. Being in the water taught me to appreciate my body for what it could do rather than how it looked.
Later, I joined Berlin’s queer rugby team. At first, it felt intimidating. Team sports and rugby were far from the image I had of myself growing up. But being part of that team showed me another way of relating to people and to my body: through trust, support, effort, and community. It also became the place where I met Ioannis.
We’ve been together for more than a year now. Our relationship is easygoing and built on listening to each other and giving each other space to grow. Being with someone who sees me without judgment and who values how I feel rather than how I appear has reinforced something I had already started learning: acceptance doesn’t happen alone. Sometimes it grows through places, experiences, and people who allow you to be fully yourself.
Looking back, I realize this story was never only about my body. It was about learning to stop seeing myself as something to fix, and starting to see myself as someone to live with. Fully and openly.
I did not grow up in an environment where we could receive love, be loved for who we were. One had to perform, to be different—but better. I discovered what it meant “to be in search of recognition, to be loved.”
As a child and pre-teen, I cultivated my thoughts and my reading. I accumulated experiences and anecdotes like a vast library, yet without a family portrait. An immense desk where the wisps of cigar smoke drift. I took great pleasure in art and literature. I discovered what it meant “to be rich inside.”
In adolescence, I discovered that I could be loved, adored, or desired. I discovered seduction, and the waves that two bodies could create together. I discovered the kisses of men on my skin, and the marks of bites on my neck. I discovered friendships, sudden bursts of love, and the nuances of relationships. I discovered what it meant “to be surrounded.”
As a young university student, I discovered monastic evenings buried in syllabi, the silence of doubt, and the gentle music of sleepless nights. I discovered evenings with friends, from one home to another. I discovered that being alone with oneself could mean good company. I discovered what it meant “to be sufficient unto oneself.”
Then, still a student, I discovered my partner. I discovered love, and the one who would share my life. I discovered the adversities of life as a couple, the nuances of “I love you,” and the sharing of oneself. I discovered what it meant “to be loved, to be two.”
As a young adult, I discovered the inner workings of companies, the mechanics of politics, the ratio between performance and presentation. I discovered that the other was a missing part of oneself. I discovered obligations and respites, responsibilities and dreams to keep alive. I discovered that loving or being loved was not so simple—that everything must be earned, and that one must fight, focus on what is worth it. I discovered my flaws, my humanity, and that of others. I discovered that one must be aware that our choices belong to us, and that they are our sole responsibility. I discovered what it means “to be responsible, to be forgiving of our mistakes.”
Name / Nickname: mattiawolf Instagram / X : YMW2.0 / Mattiawolf1992
About You
• Introduce yourself in a few words. → kind , mysterious, emphatetic.
• Where are you right now (physically or emotionally)? → I’ve been living in Milan for 9 years, and for the past 4 years with my boyfriend
• What is your favorite place on earth? → My home. It’s the place where I can be truly myself
• What has been on your mind lately? → The desire to grow artistically in this field and also in my main profession. I’m a singer, dancer and also an actor.
• What’s a small thing that brings you joy? → Masturbation makes me feel more confident and sexy. I’m so happy when I dedicate time to myself
• Something or someone that you are currently obsessed with? → I love collecting nude art magazine
Body & Relationship
• What attracts you to someone? → legs, personality and charisma
• What makes you feel desired? → to be looked at
• What is a part of your body you appreciate? → Ass , cock and shoulders
• How do you see yourself when you look at your photos? → I feel what I want to express: sensuality, sweetness, and a touch of irony
• How has the relationship with your body changed over time? → It has changed over time. I’ve worked hard. I’ve always been shy, but the world of theatre has helped me express my full potential.
• Your ideal location for a date? → I don’t have any preference about location, the most important thing is to make the other person feel comfortable
• Flirty or shy at first? → Both, I love flirting
Sex & Intimacy
• When do you feel most connected during sex? → feel comfortable with the other , I love to be natural.
• What turns you on (physically, emotionally, mentally)? → legs , chest and licking the nipples an be licked , and smelling the body
• What makes a sexual experience feel good beyond the physical? → It’s about connection and being as natural as possible—sharing, having fun, and exchanging feelings.
• Any kinks? → Being watched by multiple men while I’m naked and masturbating
Finally
• Tell us one random thing about you: → Look at me and I’ll let you into my world
Kuala Lumpur
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