It all began as a typical Grindr date. From the start, it was clear: Themis already had a partner and wasn’t looking for anything serious, while Nikolas was still recovering from his most recent breakup. We met on a chilly winter evening in Athens at a café, and the date ended, quite naturally, at Nikolas’s place.
Three and a half years later, here we are: the two of us sharing a city change, career shifts, countless trips together, and endless memories. Nikolas moved from web design into the world of therapy, massage, and bodywork. Themis relocated to Brussels, choosing a fresh start away from Athens. Big, scary moves, made possible through the support of one to the other.
We balance each other in the little things: Nikolas is always early (lateness stresses him out) while Themis is perpetually late. Nikolas is a fan of series, while Themis has barely seen more than a couple. Nikolas is more introvert enjoying time with himself while Themis likes going out, meeting with friends. But we share many common pleasures, like nature, nudism, and french fries..
Our relationship gets deepen everyday, perhaps as is the case for many relationships, but it truly feels like we’re growing and healing together, discovering more about ourselves. Being a gay couple in an open, long-distance relationship requires transparency, the clear expression of needs, boundaries, and desires. It isn’t always easy to communicate honestly, especially when you’ve grown up in a society that didn’t model or support that kind of openness.
There’s always the underlying fear of judgment or rejection or conflict. Yet the more we build trust and safety, the more we can be our true selves (the more we can understand who these true selves are), set boundaries and honor them. And creating safety and trust is not something easy. For Nikolas, it means expressing the hard truths, for Themis it means reassuring that having a different opinion does not mean that i cannot love you. There’s a vulnerability there, but true connection lies in that vulnerability. And from true connection emerges the possibility of a shared life.
We love exploring, experimenting, discovering, playing, checking what feels better for us. Not without tension, not without conflict, not without hard moments. Themis learns that conflict does not mean separation. Nikolas understands that boundaries do not mean abandonment. And we continue this journey together. After three years and a half, we are very much in love with each other.
