I am a gay man, a contemporary performer based in Brussels, born and raised in Sicily, Italy.
As a gay man, I’m actually dealing with all those traces that growing up in a close-minded society left in me.
Trying to fit in a society/family where the male energy is very strong, I’ve been denying my sexuality for more than half of my life, doubting and avoiding my pulsions towards other boys, feeling I was less than most of them and not allowing myself exploring tempting grounds… Or actually not exploring any ground at all during most of my teenage years.
Women never really attracted me, boys were off-limits. So, not much was really happening, apart from doubts and regrets.
Once graduated from high school, I joined a dance course where a more open, international and accepting environment allowed me to accept myself and my sexual preferences. There I met a men 6 years older than me, and our long monogamous relationship started…
An incredibly beautiful and loving relationship, based on trust, care and respect. It started when I was 19 years old and I grew up in it, learned what commitment and compromise are and how much love can be fulfilling by itself. At the same time, moving abroad and studying contemporary dance around Europe, I developed the base of my career feeling my anchor, my root so strong in my boyfriend and what we were building in Sicily, nothing could destroy me.
I gained more trust in myself and in my feelings… …
Enough trust to take the hardest decision of my life. After 8 years, while thinking about our wedding, I started questioning everything, with the mind of a man and the regrets of a boy who never explored really anything.
It was time to break free and change life.
So after 8 years, we broke up, I moved abroad to Brussels. I owned it to myself after following for so many years a path that would make me “fit”, I decided I didn’t want to “fit” anymore anyone’s expectations apart from my own.
Now I am 30 years old, it is 3 years that my life changed and I feel the fruits of this life story are growing bigger and juicer. I realized that I tend to please others, in my family and with lovers. That led me to believe I’ve been faking all of my life, as if I never really showed my true self to anyone, without giving any thoughts to many of my feelings. When Covid started I was really in the midst of that crisis, so thanks to the pandemic I had time to reflect and understand that there is no time to lose, that everyone will always accept me for who I am, and if not….
Fuck them, they don’t deserve me.
Therefore, I am now in a new spring, feeling curious and ready for the unknown, ready to say yes to new experiences, exploring my sexuality fully, enjoying being desired and loved, loving giving love to strangers, being unapologetically me. I’m single at the moment, and because of my past relationship I don’t really believe I will ever get in a monogamous relationship again… But never say never.
I’m 30 and not scared. Happy. Loved.