I’ve been living in Berlin for 2.5 years, though originally, I’m from Russia. I absolutely love the city and the way it treats everyone with fairness and respect. This inclusivity means a lot to me, as I barely experienced anything like it in my hometown.
I was born in a small town, and at the age of 16, I made the decision to leave my parents and move to Moscow to pursue an education. Looking back, it was the right choice. Deep down, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to live a normal, authentic life there as a queer person.
In my family, topics like sexuality, relationships, and emotions were never openly discussed. I never had a meaningful “father-son” conversation, which, now that I reflect on it, I realize is an essential part of raising a boy. Unfortunately, my stepdad didn’t take much interest in my feelings or how I was growing up. My mom wasn’t much different in that regard. It’s not that they were bad parents—they simply repeated the way they had been raised themselves, without the tools or vision to do things differently.
At my current age, I’m still exploring my sexuality, learning what excites me, and discovering the boundaries of my desires. I’ve realized that I can’t feel turned on just by a naked body or watching porn. For me, connection and trust are fundamental aspects of intimacy and sex.
I also have a complicated relationship with my body, which is why I push myself so hard at the gym. As a teenager, I was a skinny boy who was frequently bullied at school, and, deep inside, a part of me still carries those scars. Taking pictures of my body and sharing them with others has become a way for me to reclaim my confidence and ground myself in the present.
The process of shooting for this project was incredibly relaxed. I simply acted naturally, doing what felt right and being myself. While it wasn’t something entirely new to me, it served as a beautiful reminder of the many facets of human sexuality and the simplicity of its expression.
When I felt stuck or unsure, Chris stepped in and guided me on how to adjust my perspective and pose in ways that highlighted my best angles. This kind of direction was both helpful and crucial, especially since we didn’t know each other well at first—it was a great way to break the ice and build trust.
Moments like these remind me of the importance of connection and mutual understanding, which are central not only in art but also in life and relationships.
