December 2024
By Chris Chi
Sharing stories about us
| Hello beautiful people, Where to start? Walking down the memory lane of 2024, it’s almost an impossible task to come up with a summary of this year’s journey. Well, luckily, thanks to the modern technology, some apps nowadays do that for you, creating an overview, like, Tripit tells me that I have traveled to 7 countries and visited 20 cities. Sportify tells me that I listened to Sabrina Carpenter the most (damn, Espresso). Well, my bank apps tell me…Let’s keep it private. On Instagram this template of picking 6 photos of the best moments of the year has been trending now. I find it difficult to choose 6 photos. As I opened my calendar where I kept record of all the people that I have met and all the important events, it became clear to me that I would ever feel grateful. Yeah, indeed, 2024 is the most special and the most difficult year, but I also have felt so much love and support, through grief and mourning. I think I am a fuller person now, more than ever. Sometimes it’s ok to be sad and feel lost as long as I have you, even just in memories. |
MEMORY
| It will be the third time I visit Berlin this year. When Oliver was visiting me in Brussels, he said, “why don’t you come and celebrate the new year with us?” Yes, why not? Nothing is better than being with friends and I need it. So I booked the flights immediately and felt really relieved and happy, thinking about meeting old friends and making new friends. The first Berlin trip was in February. I was desperate to get out of Brussels and be with people. I sought refugee in Berlin, at the home of Joey who kindly gave me his guestroom to sleep in and offered the arm when I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I met Chris. We watched “All of Us Strangers” in the cinema. When we came out, it rained. A cold night, but with him, I felt warmth. Then Oliver, we had Korean food in the first Korean restaurant that we had been to. And with Mateus, we had cake in Cafe Kawil, talking about books and exhibitions. There is comfort in these rituals. They are my cornerstones. I tried to reinstate as much normality as possible in this broken life. I carried on with photoshoots and meeting new people. On the way to Andres’ place, my mind kept on going back to the song “Always on my mind” by Pet Shop Boys in the movie “All of Us Strangers”. I got sad, again. It’s not thing new for tears to fall down while walking on the streets anymore. I arrived at his apartment, a boy with a shy smile. He showed me his diaries and drawing which I loved a lot. He’s a sensitive boy. I felt something soft and gentle, like water. His presence was very soothing. I saw the speaker, so I said, “Let’s listen to this song and dance with me”. Then he played it. We held each other, slow danced. Maybe I didn’t treat you Quite as good as I should Maybe I didn’t love you Quite as often as I could Little things I should have said and done I never took the time You were always on my mind You were always on my mind |
Darko in Maspalomas
Small town boy
Growing up as a feminine boy in a small town of a conservative country, life was not fun. The world around me insisted on a single narrative: adult life was meant to be shared with one person – and that should be your wife.
Something in me always felt different and I was scared to discuss it with myself. But when I was 15 I vividly remember the moment everything clicked — turning around in the middle of a busy street to look at another big guy. It was a moment of revelation. My gaze was floating from his big muscled arms thru his huge wide shoulders all the way to his juicy ass and then he turned around and his big bulge completely paralyzed me. In that split second, i realized – I love man. Big, older, hairy, muscular man.
As I grew older, the small town became even smaller and it started suffocating me. For years, fear kept me trapped, afraid to leave behind the only world i knew. But on my 26th birthday, i made a life-changing decision to move to a bigger city.
The Big City
The city helped me outgrow my fears and start discovering myself in every possible way. My professional life took off, my social life expanded and most of all my sexual desires exploded. My kinky side came up to the front and she was not going anywhere, so I needed to go somewhere.
Faceless Grindr profiles, closeted boys, mean ‘girls’ was not what I signed up for.
For them, I was either ‘too old and muscular’ to be a twink or ‘too skinny and feminine’ to be a straight looking dude and ‘too nasty and perverted’ to be a decent gay man. It felt like, just as I scratched the surface, my desires are pushed back again. I realized that The Big City wasn’t as big as I thought.
Citizen of my own world
As I started visiting places all over the Europe my kinky side grew bigger and my confidence grew stronger. In Greece I fell in love with being completely naked outdoor. Brussels I discovered I like lace (and leather), in Madrid I discovered I love bb, in Paris I fall in love with water sports and in Amsterdam i released I like to handle multiple guys at once – but then I visited Gran Canaria. A magical place where all my loves, desires and fantasies came together.
The sun and the ocean, big beaches and nice hotels but most importantly naked men – young, old, big, slim, fit, muscular all types of beautiful naked men. And kinky too. Pride parties, naked pool parties, naked club parties, water sport parties – I was in heaven. Never before i felt desired this much and on top of it, not judged. No one cared if I was skinny, fem, too old or too young. Guys here knew the point – to enjoy life and have fun. I was finally free to be who I wanted to be, and it felt incredible. And that’s exactly what I did. Lots and loads of.. fun.
Boris in Berlin
Why did I want nude pictures of myself-beyond the usual dick and ass selfies for Grindr? Was I really that proud of my body? Did I secretly believe it was fit enough to make every guy in town drool?
These were the questions swirling in my mind as the moment of my shoot approached. Nerves kicked in hard as I prepared to bare it all.
I’ve never felt comfortable in my skin. Growing up, I was always the skinny white boy. My veins practically glowed through my pale skin, and my thin frame made people wonder if I was healthy. But I’ve always been healthy – just not much of an eater, with skinny genes running through my family. I was active, always on the move.
As a teenager, I was different. I stood out, not because I craved attention, but because I liked having my own style-bold colors, leggings, weird haircuts, even dyed hair. I never wanted to be the center of attention, but I didn’t mind standing apart from the crowd.
Coming out was a slow burn for me. I never had a girlfriend and always had an eye for guys, but it wasn’t enough to push me into exploring it further. I wasn’t clear on what I found attractive. Women? No, that much I knew. But men? Or no-one? It took me until my 20s to finally accept being gay. It was a long process, one where I didn’t feel the need to look a certain way or fit into the “gay scene.” I wasn’t chasing anyone, wasn’t on dating apps or prowling bars. I didn’t have to be sexy for anyone.
When I finally dipped my toes into the dating world, I was surprised. Guys found me attractive. My skinny body? My abs? My slim legs, big nose, and smooth, hairless skin? It felt good to be desired by some, even though I didn’t fully understand what they saw in me. I didn’t hate my body, but there were plenty of things I would change about it if it didn’t involve surgery or endless hours at the gym.
Now, in my 40s, I feel more connected to my body. After training regularly for years, I’m stronger and more in touch with my physical self. I still have insecurities – both about my body and my sexuality – but I’m in a completely different place than I was in my 20s. Aging has a way of helping you understand yourself better, making you more confident in who you are, and learning to embrace what makes you unique.
And yes, doing a sexy photoshoot was part of that journey. The thought of being naked in front of a photographer, not knowing what he sees or thinks, turned me on. There’s something thrilling about playing with the camera, teasing it, showing myself off in the most flattering way – from the photographer’s perspective, at least.
Am I hot enough to please every gay in town? Probably not. And that’s okay. Guys my age tend to disappear from the Grindr grid anyway. But I’ve got a husband who loves me and shows me every day that I’m sexy. And sometimes, a Grindr message here and there reminds me that I’m still desirable. Is it superficial? Absolutely. But it feels damn good, and I’m honest enough to admit that.
Featured Artist: JAIME COLOMER
Photos by Jcolomer
Truth or dare
Truth or Dare, it’s a good way to break the ice in a fun way. From the naked apero where we chat over drinks and snacks, to board games, we never touched upon our sexuality. With a few close friends, we introduced “Truth or Dare”, a ludique game that talks about sex in a fun spirit. Many people are curious about how it’s like or if there is sex. My answer is always “let everything unfold spontaneously based on consent and respect”. Via the game, we do get an insight of each other’s private life and as a person, at the same time, boys are boys and boys like to have fun. Somehow, we never actually finished all the cards.
In December, we have organized two truth or dare naked gatherings in Brussels, both of which have been very successful and fun. It gives me a good feeling, of course, bringing people together in an open-minded and social context, where friendship can be forged and at the same time people can enjoy their sexuality and being naked. In definition, they are not orgies. I don’t want to organize orgies where people come solely for sex and don’t even bother to get to know each other’ names. I don’t have a problem with that kind of formula. It’s just not what taleofmen activities are about. The social aspect remain the core.
Tale of Men EVENTS & COMMUNITY
As 2024 is about to come to an end, it’s nice to have something to look forward to. I am glad that the Taleofmen community starts to take form with over 200 members, from models to people who want to be part of this journey. In January 2025, Taleofmen will bring the naked gathering to Berlin, Antwerp and Lille. This makes me very happy that I could share the experience with people outside of Brussels and hopefully create more connections beyond the limit of physical space.
I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Check more info for the coming events here.
TALE OF MEN ZINES
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