January 2025
By Chris Chi
Sharing stories about us
| Hello beautiful people, With a little delay, this first newsletter of 2025 has finally arrived at your mailbox. One friend lamented the other day that January was such a busy month. It felt that you had completed tasks of 3 months. I have the exact feeling. I spent the New Year with my friends in Berlin and did a lot of photoshoots. It’s very difficult to catch one’s breath and take a pause. At least, I didn’t want to, as if I was still running away from December, the gloomy thought of December and what had happened. When January approached towards the end, I was delighted to start my trip to Warsaw where I reunited with Tom and Leszek. It’s the first time that I visited them since they moved back to Warsaw from Berlin. Somehow it’s always an emotional journey when we spend time together. I don’t know why. I might care about them too much. So do they. All I know that it’s precious. A lot has happened. I met a lot of new people, through the two events I organized, one in Antwerp and one in Lille. There’s a tremendous amount of joy and gratitude, and a sense of community. For a long time, I didn’t feel that lonely anymore. |
MEMORY
| I found him intriguing, from the first impression of him, quiet and well put together, to surprisingly discovering him being pinned to the mattress among other naked bodies, him moaning, trying to control it but yet surrendering to the pleasure. I talked a little bit with him. His Balken root made him even more mysterious. S. told me that he could paint very well but too shy to come to the naked drawing session. Oh, he definitely has a lot of stories to tell. For the rest of the evening, he remained quiet and observant. I tried to encourage with him and asked him if he’s good at giving massages. To my delight, his answer was affirmative. I lay myself on the mattress, together with other boys who were like hungry beasts devouring each other a moment ago and felt D’s strong hands start to work on my shoulders and back. The relief was great. He was not lying. I almost felt a bit guilty as there’s a sense of devotion once he put his mind on something while I tend to take most things lightly. “We have to see each other again.” I repeated it to him a few times the entire evening. “I will make it happen.” I told myself. I met again shortly after the party in Antwerp. The drive to his place, located in the opposite side of Brussels, was unsettling as traffic jam formed on the high way due to bad weather and construction work. I passed by an accident scene. 3 cars knocked into each other. Luckily no one seemed hurt. I took Luna with me, my 8 years old border collie. D. said he always wanted to meet a collie even though he is much more of a cat person. ‘They will certainly get along.” I thought. He opened the door with a timid smile on his face, wearing a plein grey cotton shorts. Luna was enthusiast about this new place. He quickly put away the cat in his mom’s bedroom. Surprisingly he lives together with his brother and mom. After arriving in Brussels with his brother for his studies, he later brought his mom here too for a new life. He’s a responsible son. Although he didn’t mention anything about his father. We sat on the couch. He made a cup of coffee for me. Luna started to explore the living room and the kitchen. She jumped on the sofa, sitting besides me. “Everything is fine. She’s doing perfectly.” D. said. D. is a very communicative person, which I like a lot. He seems genuinely a open hearted person, taking interest in knowing people and sharing his stories. We talked about my project, the experience of the party and what fascinated me was his ideal of forming a family, and influences of his religious background. He told me that he dreamt of this girl to whom he onced proposed to. He was hugging her behind during the intercourse. Then their bodies melted into one form. He couldn’t make out the meaning of it. I was in awe of the symbolism of such a dream. I could sense that, deep down, hidden beneath his calm and polite demeanor, there’s a freightful current that he has to face and navigate on his own. I asked him to give me the massage that we had planned. He took me upstairs to his bedroom, small, with a sofa and his computer. He also paints there and write his diaries. He showed me the small painting he was working on. We talked more while his hands pressed against my shoulders. At a certain moment, I pulled him closer and kissed him. He landed in my arms and responded to the kisses. I don’t remember how long ago it was that I got so turned on. My dick was rock hard. My mind and my body were aligned, which didn’t happen often. When it comes to sex, it’s always more than the physicals for me. I need something, a longing, for the other person’s body and mind. I pressed him under my body, while inside him. He started to moan. This man surrended himself to the pleasure again, as if only in this moment, his mind was clear, clear from all the struggles and conflicts. I couldn’t help but accelerated. He felt so good. One side of my knee hurts. The rough surface of the sofa textile, mixed with sweat, rubbed off a bit of skin. It stung but I couldn’t have enough of him. I fucked faster, thrusted deep inside of him and came. It took a while to catch my breathe again. He told me, few people fucked him like that. I had outdone most of them. I was glad and felt my ego boasted. After a while, my dick got hard again. Even I was surprised. I think I did enough cardio that day. That boy left me more intrigued after saying goodbye to him. I found myself already Looking forward to hearing more of his stories and dreams. Most importantly I hope the boy will be fine. |
IVAN IN BERLIN
| I’ve been living in Berlin for 2.5 years, though originally, I’m from Russia. I absolutely love the city and the way it treats everyone with fairness and respect. This inclusivity means a lot to me, as I barely experienced anything like it in my hometown. I was born in a small town, and at the age of 16, I made the decision to leave my parents and move to Moscow to pursue an education. Looking back, it was the right choice. Deep down, I knew I wouldn’t have been able to live a normal, authentic life there as a queer person. In my family, topics like sexuality, relationships, and emotions were never openly discussed. I never had a meaningful “father-son” conversation, which, now that I reflect on it, I realize is an essential part of raising a boy. Unfortunately, my stepdad didn’t take much interest in my feelings or how I was growing up. My mom wasn’t much different in that regard. It’s not that they were bad parents—they simply repeated the way they had been raised themselves, without the tools or vision to do things differently. At my current age, I’m still exploring my sexuality, learning what excites me, and discovering the boundaries of my desires. I’ve realized that I can’t feel turned on just by a naked body or watching porn. For me, connection and trust are fundamental aspects of intimacy and sex. I also have a complicated relationship with my body, which is why I push myself so hard at the gym. As a teenager, I was a skinny boy who was frequently bullied at school, and, deep inside, a part of me still carries those scars. Taking pictures of my body and sharing them with others has become a way for me to reclaim my confidence and ground myself in the present. The process of shooting for this project was incredibly relaxed. I simply acted naturally, doing what felt right and being myself. While it wasn’t something entirely new to me, it served as a beautiful reminder of the many facets of human sexuality and the simplicity of its expression. When I felt stuck or unsure, Chris stepped in and guided me on how to adjust my perspective and pose in ways that highlighted my best angles. This kind of direction was both helpful and crucial, especially since we didn’t know each other well at first—it was a great way to break the ice and build trust. Moments like these remind me of the importance of connection and mutual understanding, which are central not only in art but also in life and relationships. |
Nigel in Brussels
I was 16 years old when I went with my family to New York City. I remember one morning, I woke up early, grabbed some cash & told my parents I was going to get a pumpkin spice latte. Yes, I was that basic. Still am by the way. It was a crisp fall morning, ice cold outside. I was walking among the people in Manhattan, feeling the most free I’ve ever felt. I think that’s where it started, my need for disappearing. In those 30 minutes when I was out for my basic bitch juice, I got a taste of anonymity and I knew this was what I wanted. This was the dream: to be in a city where I was nobody, so that I could be anybody. Then I met the second love of my life, a relationship that lasted nearly ten years. With him, my need to escape vanished. I was ready to settle down. We met for a random hookup and ended up spending almost a week together. After he left, he decided he was going to move to Europe to get a masters degree and we were going to be together. The safety I always looked for in anonymity, he provided. He finished his masters, we moved in together, bought a house. It wasn’t easy, but it also wasn’t hard. It felt right, at least to me. We always had a great relationship, especially on an intellectual and conversational level. We could discuss for hours about politics, racial inequality, art, movies, travel. He was enough for me, and I felt I was enough for him. Until I wasn’t anymore. After 7ish years of monogamy, he opened up to me that he might want to venture out a bit. But we do it together. I was never a big fan of the plan, but you do what you need to do to keep each other happy. So we did. We had our first threesome in Lisbon, with a very cute, muscled guy. It was a very hot experience, and the sex was a lot less vanilla than what we were having. Don’t get me wrong, our sex life was still active and doing well, but looking back now it was maybe a bit bland. When you’re both tops, there’s only so much you can do, right? So we did the whole threesome thing for a couple of years, but only while traveling. It was exciting, it was fresh and we both felt good about it. Then COVID-19 happened. Everything changed in a heartbeat. Locked inside, nothing to do and nowhere to go. The first weeks we really grew closer together. We painted our new house, we went for long walks, we cuddled on the couch. But the need for excitement started itching again. We decided to do our first threesome in our home country Belgium. I don’t know who it even was anymore, because after that it all became a blur. After a while, I got tired of sleeping with guys I wasn’t really attracted to. Because to invite a third in your bed is often to compromise. And to waste time. So many hours on the apps on the couch. I saw my precious relationship change in front of my eyes. Evenings we used to spend time together, we would now search Grindr for a third. I was done with it. I said either we open up fully, or we break up. He did propose closing the relationship again, but I was too far down the rejection rabbit hole to give him that satisfaction. So of course, we opened up – per my request. And despite me demanding it, I was hurt. I felt rejected. The man I thought I’d spend my life with deemed me “not enough”. Or at least, that’s how I felt. My insecurities took over. I became obsessed with “winning” the open relationship. I slept with guys he couldn’t get, and made sure he knew about it, just to show that at least somebody wanted me. I started working out more, taking care of myself, posting more on social media. The more attractive I got, the uglier I became. I knew he was never going to break up with me, and I still loved him enough not to make him suffer any more. If I didn’t end things, I was going to eat him alive. And so I did. I ended it. Ten wonderful years came to an end. Though we parted as friends, I was still broken inside from it. I left the relationship with many fond memories, but also very insecure. I couldn’t blame him, though. All he wanted was to experiment a little, have a little fun. Turns out he found the one person who couldn’t really cope with it. Looking back, I don’t regret my relationship at all. I loved him with all my heart, and my body. But sometimes that just isn’t enough. |
Featured Artist: BUBNOVSKI
| Photos by Bubnovski |
Tale of Men EVENTS & COMMUNITY
| January is a busy month. We organized one big naked event in Antwerp and then a smaller but cozy one in Lille. Thanks to our welcoming hosts, the events were very successful. 26 people gathered in Antwerp and spent the entire afternoon and evening together. For a lot of people, it’s their first time to be part of such an event. I can say, all of us have made a lot of nice memories. After the events, I got many messages, thanking me for organizing it and expressing how much they loved it. It’s very encouraging. I am glad that there’s this amount of support. We are making something different, from the mainstream environment for gays to meet and to have sex. Even though there are still people who frown up the sexual aspect of the events, I think the focus is on those who want to explore and want to make connections. And it’s very meaningful if I can provide that.. And in Lille, it’s more about friendship and intimacy. Gradually, you notice that those people who you have seen a few times at the events have become your friends, someone you can talk to and someone you feel good with. You think about them sometimes when you are apart. When you meet again, it starts to feel like home. |
| The Taleofmen Community has been growing rapidly. It seems that many people have taken interest in our events which create a social, friendly, drug-free and sex positive environment. It’s very exciting to get invitations from other cities to bring the events there. Therefore, I have planned two coming events, one in Paris and another one in Bologna. Join us! Check more info for the coming events here. |
TALE OF MEN ZINES
It’s been one year since the last issues were published. Now it’s time to create a new one. I want to dedicate this new issue to friendship and love, to all the people that I have met at the events. Taleofmen is really about sharing, to celebrate us. Meanwhile, the new issue will also invite other photographers to share their beautiful captures of tender and passionate moments. Stay tuned!
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