Today, I can say that I’m a happy person. Some years ago, when I thought I was happy, I wasn’t happy at all.
For a long time I was a “perfect” person, an excellent student, great in sports, a lovely boyfriend, the kindest son and brother. I would do whatever the society wanted me to do because I had to be the best in everything.
Until the day I met this person.
She was an old lady who could read your aura. I had always been curious about it, and wanted to know what it was about. I went to meet her, and the first and only thing she said was: “come back when you are yourself. ” I was really mad at her!! Who was she?!? Why would she said that!!? I left really angry, and I never saw this lady again. But thanks to her, I started asking me questions about who I was. And I was scared to find the answer.
I knew I was gay, but I was not ready to accept it.
Nothing happened. I continued dating my girlfriend, and I continued being happy… for everyone else but me.
After a few months, I decided to start Reiki. Some friends of mine who were practicing it told me to join them (maybe, they knew I really needed it). My first session was in 2008, and it changed my life. I did the first level, and I started to feel different, in a good way, followed by the second level, then the third level. It felt so good. I don’t know why, but we are so afraid of changes! I gradually understood it’s ok to feel that way, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying something new. If I hadn’t accepted that, I wouldn’t have met this guy.
We met in a choir where he was the conductor. I was still dating a girl at that time, but when I saw him, something stirred inside me. I was scared. Why do I feel like this? What is happening to me? So, I’m not really happy and my life is a lie?! What will everyone say, what will my family say?! It wasn’t easy at the beginning, but fortunately, in the end, I didn’t care about the others, and for the first time, I asked myself: who are you?
Today I’m still together with that guy, he is now my husband. We married 3 years ago. Our families love us. My old friends are still here together with many new ones. We are both singers who love their jobs. Now we live in another country. We had to learn a new language, a new culture, we had to start from the beginning, but that didn’t stop us.
Changes are good, accepting who you really are is good, trying new things is good, starting from nothing is good, believing in you is good. People think that putting yourself first is selfish… I disagree. Putting yourself first, allows you to understand you, to accept you, to be happy with you, to know what is good for you, to get to know the real you. And that’s when you start being perfect.