May 2024
By Chris Chi
Sharing stories about us
Hello beautiful people,
May, this year, in Brussels is a little mysterious. You never know what you will get. Some days are sunny and some are raining. The weather can change multiple times during one day. Nevertheless, there’s something uplifting about this time of the year. It’s lovely to see the flowers blossom on the city streets and the sceneries become greener and greener everywhere. We had Brussels Gay Pride a few days ago where 200,000 people came together to celebrate.
Last Friday, I was spending the day alone with home, with my dog as this day marked the 5th month since my husband left. Surprisingly I was not too sad. When I looked back at our past, everything became a blessing. I bought some flowers for him. He would love them. He would love to see this house decorated with some bright colors. Lilies are his favorite.
His sister called me. We both missed him enormously, but at the same time, we felt happy that we could experience this intense emotion, missing a beloved one who had left as we all loved and were loved. I browsed through my calendar of the last months. It’s so full. I was so busy with meeting people, doing photoshoots, steering life going forward… Finally, I am glad that I found strength in all of these happenings and survived. He’d be proud.
Life goes on… I guess this is the cliché and also the very truth of life. Whenever we feel lost, take a look back at what we have achieved. Hopefully, we will find courage and purpose again.
Tale of Men Exhibition
| I am very excited to announce the first Tale of Men exhibition in Brussels from 7 to 9 June. After so many years since I started this project, finally I will put up an intimate exhibition at the Green Corridor Brussels who kindly reached out to me a few months ago. This means a lot to me, showing my work in public spaces, getting the stories and the photographs of my models out there for people to hear and to see. During these three days, you can visit the gallery and look at selected portraits of men, read their person life stories. There will also a selection of erotic photos that focus on body, intimacy, lust and sexuality.We have also prepared storytelling performances by Niels and video presentation where Jeffs talks about his relationship to landscape and body. For the first time, a nude model drawing session will also be organized for artists and hobbyists to practice their drawing skills and talent.Furthermore, I will organize small photoshoot sessions at the Green Corridor to give the participants an experience of storytelling and modelling. More information and registration can be found HERE or by scanning the QR code. If you are in Brussels, don’t miss out this exhibition. Come to visit us between 7-9 June. |
MEMORY – Lanzarote
My friend, Oliver, aka seoulofberlin, went to Lanzarote recently. I saw him biking on the volcanic mountains, read his IG stories about traveling on his own. I knew he had been going through some emotional turmoil’s. Perhaps, Lanzarote was the perfect place for him to visit. It has this unique and majestic landscape that leaves people in awe and retrospectively start a healing process.
There are places that I wish I could revisit, sooner than later. Lanzarote is one of them. It differentiates itself from other places, in the sense that here the nature takes over. All the things in life, trivial or big, are just like stones sinking into the bottom of the river. They are less important now.
I met Atchen on Grindr. It’s dreadful to use Grindr on the island as most gays are closeted. That’s the typical price you pay to live in such a place. “Locals go to the Gran Canaries to have fun and party. After they are back, they shrink into their shell again”, says Atchen.
The trip didn’t start well. I decided to go to Lanzarote because of someone else. We followed each other for quite a long time and chatted on Instagram for a good amount of times. On one of the Christmas eves, I was at the airbnb in Athens, drinking wine by myself. Somehow we started to talk about life and how his mental health suffered. I sympathized with him and we wanted to meet each other in real life.
Here I went. I booked the trip to Lanzarote and started to make plans with him. After I arrived, he came up with different reasons for being busy and occupied. I tried to be understanding until one evening I bumped into him in the center of the town. He was with another friend, showing him around or helping him with some problems (I don’t remember anymore). Of course, I was disappointed.
When I confronted him on instagram, he turned everything on me, using tactics to gaslight me that everything was my fault. It infuriated me, but saddened me more. I couldn’t understand why some people would do such a thing, playing with other’s feelings as if they are dirt.
Then Atchen started to accompany me on this trip. He showed me little towns on the island. We had breakfast together. When I passed by his restaurant, he offered me beer and snacks. Then one day we drove around the island, to different beaches. Soon, this trip took a total new turn that led to gorgeous sunlight, sea wind, rocky mountains, fine sand, exotic flora, delicious wine and food…He’s a very sweet and generous man. I remember seeing him walking towards me after I visited the Fundacion Cesar Manrique. He was wearing a white shirt with colorful patterns. I loved it.
The last day, we stopped at Charco Del Palo, a nudist village on the island. It was not the tourist season yet. The whole village was quiet and calm. There were only a few people, sunbathing in the natural pool near the beach. The water was crystal clear. We did jump into the pool, naked, swimming among the small fish. I would love to come back again. I decided there and then.
Now 2 years have past. It might be time to make some plans.
What is love?
2nd week of May, the weather was fabulous. It felt like summer. It’s when Tom and Leszek came to visit me in Brussels. Tom finally made it happen, which I appreciated it a lot. To be honest, it’s the first time that I ever hosted people in my apartment, and first time that I had friends stay over after my husband passed away. Nevertheless, I was glad about their visit as we shared special moments and stories in the past which had brought us closer. I cleaned the apartment as best as I could, stored bags of useless stuff in the garage, put the terrace table and chairs out, changed the bed sheets. In a way, it’s a symbolic moment. I wanted it to be perfect.
Early Friday morning, I picked them up at the airport. Neither of them had visited Brussels before. We had two full days plus two extra nights. It’s not easy to squeeze everything in this tight schedule, especially when we mornings making coffee and breakfast, then took our time to eat on the terrace. Actually it turned out to be the best moments of these days (minus Tom’s gluten free bread). We took some selfies and posted on Instagram. Immediately people started to ask if we were starting a throuple. A lovely thought, isn’t it?
Leszek wanted to watch the Eurovision and Tom wanted to go to the beach. So we made the arrangements so that both of them could be satisfied. On Friday evening, we walked in the old city center, waited in line to try the famous Belgian fries, popped in the old gay bar where the decoration hadn’t changed for decades. We walked Luna in the woods on Saturday afternoon and then walked from the Mont des arts to the justice palace. I tried to show them places that I liked in the city. In the end, we ended up at the Notre-Dame church at the Sablon. The mass was taking place when we entered. The sunlight shone through the colored glasses, and danced in the angelic music. We all got emotional, each with his own feelings and ghosts from the past.
Throughout their entire stay, the weather was heavenly. It felt almost like an illusion, or mirage. Sunday, we drove to Bredene. Once we got there, we found a spot on the Dunes, undressed and ate watermelon. Luna enjoyed running on the beach. It’s funny how fast Luna had accepted them. When both Tom and Leszek ran into the sea and swam further and further away from the shore. Luna (She is not really a water dog) sat down, whimpering. She was worried about them. On the way back, we stopped by Brugge. It’s too late to visit most of the sightseeing places, but the tranquil atmosphere was the charm of Brugge. We had mussels there!
If I am honest, I did enjoy their stay in Brussels. They are this kind of friends who will reach out if you ever need help. I loved listening to their stories about exploring caves together and how Leszek conquered his fear of height. “We have the best sex together”, they even proudly said. And I witnessed it. They were not lying. Nevertheless, it’s also painful to experience/observe that kind of love in that proximity. I was affected by every fiber of their mood. Most of all, I knew I had no one in my life now, who I could love and would love me back in that way.
On a positive note, it’s still beautiful to see people love each other. Even though there are bumps along the journey, what matters is the foundation of love. I wish them very best and all the happiness.
ONE MOMENT IN OUR LIFE
Last year my appendix ruptured. I spent 5 days in the hospital on antibiotics and going through hell. I had to wait two months to get it taken out so all the infection would be gone.
I was studying for the Bar Exam and trying to graduate Law School, and it nearly destroyed me. I couldn’t have made it through without my loving partner who took such good care of me, and made me go to the hospital when I wouldn’t.
I can be stubborn and have a high pain tolerance. I need to remember to ask for help and accept it when offered. My surgical scars is a consant reminder of this, and choosing to live life joyfully.
—- photo and text by @yougotjunkmale
A Meeting of Too Many
(Emilien in Brussels)
It’s one meeting too many.
That evening, I am at an orgy. We have a lot of sex. We consume. Then this guy arrived. All stoned, I find him nice, rather cute, the flow goes. We spend the evening to discuss, to kiss, time seems to stand still. In the early morning, I accompany him home to keep fucking. Kiss, kiss again and again, be obsessed by it, not know stop, find all the means to continue, not listen to yourself, put aside fatigue by substances. At that moment, my body is there but my head no longer responds and he, in take advantage. Completely at his mercy, he injects me.
RUSH – HEAT – EXCITEMENT – OVER-EXCITATION – TRANSFORMATION
I transform into a kind of beast, governed solely by its thirst for sex and depravity, my head has really left my body, I am no longer Emilien. I am no longer person.
Featured Artist: IHNAT
Photos by Ihnat (Instagram & Twitter)
I was fired by a desire to start taking photos on film in childhood after discovering dozens of photo albums of my grandpa who was the photographer in his prime and was the one and only inspiration for me.This desire was postponed (but never went away) for a couple of years but during the summer’18 I decided that the time has come. Since that million of films were wasted, hundreds of photo cameras were broken and replaced, shot by shot were ruined but the expectations were worth it. After years of waiting finally I started to photograph one thing I wanted the most – male nude. And here I am now.
TALE OF MEN ZINES
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