“I grew up in a homophobic society, which forced me to hide my sexuality. However, I couldn’t conceal my body language, which always seemed more feminine compared to others. This led to bullying throughout my childhood and into adulthood. Everyone has their own way of coping with a stressful environment. While I struggled to be masculine or strong enough, I tried to remain unnoticed, which made me unsociable. As a result, I found it difficult to communicate with people, learn new things, make friends, or even enjoy life.
Despite these challenges, I accepted myself at a young age but never felt free to come out in a society where I constantly witnessed people gossiping about LGBTQ individuals and mistreating their own LGBTQ children based solely on appearance. I realized that being openly gay would prevent me from living a normal life in my country, yet I still tried.
I attempted to gain independence by moving out on my own, but that proved impossible. Instead, I moved in with friends who weren’t very close, which made me feel as though I was using them. A year later, when I saw that I couldn’t manage my own life, I decided to go anywhere and coincidentally received a message from an old friend living in Belgium who encouraged me to come. Without much thought, I decided to start a new life and arrived here within a month.
I moved in alone, met my friend, and then discovered another friend from my social network also lived here. They supported me, which helped me find some mental stability. Now, I’m on the verge of returning to my country, which scares me. I don’t like discussing the details of my circumstances and problems. It’s challenging to prove that I have valid reasons to seek asylum here, despite the many hardships faced by LGBTQ people in Georgia. Most LGBTQ individuals remain hidden from society, and many have committed or are committing suicide; the reasons are often unknown because they stay concealed.
There’s no statistical evidence about LGBTQ cases to substantiate our struggles, but any expression of LGBTQ identity is punished or judged by society, and that is clear. The EU only acknowledges the physical dangers that threaten our lives, but death isn’t just physical. A homophobic society kills our inner selves, creating barriers that prevent us from achieving a decent life. I can’t be as confident or strong as I would be in a healthy society, but I believe I could still be useful if I remain here. However, in a country as homophobic as mine, I’m certain I won’t be able to achieve anything.”
