I would never forget the first time when I shot Marcel and Matthias, a couple living in Berlin who have been together for the longest of the time. It’s also my first time to visit Berlin solely for the purpose of meeting boys photographing them and collecting their stories. They live in the east side of Berlin. I remember I took the train to the station near their place then walked a long way to their apartment. It was in the sunny morning. Everything seemed fresh and intriguing as I was finally doing what I had been dreamed of, taking photos of people for a purpose and being able to travel to meet people from different countries.
Marcel and Matthias are lovely people. They have a very touching story, one of my favorites, the kind that offers hope and compassion. We had a long conversation about their life and their relationship in their tidy, well-cared for apartment. We connected very well. I knew that Berliners are very open minded people. After all the city is famous for its queer scene, clubs, nudism, sex workers and kinky hardcore taste of porns. I always ask models what they like and what they expect from the photo shoot before we meet. Marcel said, “we will see.”
We started the shoot normally, me taking some photos of them standing together, sitting in bed… 10 minutes after things got heated. They started kissing. I knew I must get ready for what’s coming next. What happened was my first shoot of sex. It’s honest, natural, spontaneous, organic, passionate, real… I played the fly on the wall, disappeared behind my lens, trying to capture more than the act itself. It was overwhelming, at the same time, humbling as they showed their most intimate personal connection in front of me. It somehow showed a more complete picture of them being human beings with desires, struggles, love, courage.
Sexuality is a curious territory for us. Maybe because it’s socially labeled as taboo or imposed with love and romance., even shame So many cultures have in a way suppressed/are suppressing their people sexually which profoundly impact us as human beings as sex is a part of our nature. Even in Belgium, a very liberal country, the expression of sexually gets frowned upon on sometimes. When I posted photos or videos with a sexual nature on instagram, messages would flood in, claiming the project had changes its focus or path. Some found the content provoking. Some people unfollowed because of it. Ironically, I found out that one among them has an onlyfans account and some others are very actively in the hooking up culture.
Since I can’t figure out why some people are so judgmental. I simply sleep over it most of the time. Talking about it helps too. After all, there are many supportive voices online. I guess, sexuality is indeed something I’d like to explore in the future. I shouldn’t be discouraged just because some people don’t like it or simply are judgmental. Sexuality is not only about sex as it’s multi-dimensional and very often emotional. I want to capture those elements through sex. Secondly, I want to continue explore the human side of people. We seem often to forget porn actors are human beings too, with stories and feelings. We reduce them merely to an object that is for our fantasy or entertainment.
In the last couple of months, I met a few boys, who are involved in the porn industry, and some boys who are simply very sexually expressive. They are all unique individuals. For examples, John, a nice chap from London who is also a timstale exclusive. John, besides his talent/zest in sex, is someone that you immediately like. He is someone with personality, a great smile, even in his videos, you can feel that. In reality he is a polite English gentleman. I met Orson in Berlin, another English boy who moved there a few months before our meeting. We shot two scenes which unfolded both naturally. His partners, Devon and Fabio, are equally nice and sweet. They laughed together, shared some passion, followed their instinct. The sex was hot and unpretentious. After I left Berlin, I got messages from Orson from time to time, asking me how I was doing. It’s kind of sweet of him.
They are boys who enjoy fun. And what’s wrong with that? For some, sex is also their livelihood. If you consume porn, at least they deserve some respect. That’s the bottom line. As for what I do here, it’s up to you to see what you want to see.