I am not good at quickies, either when it comes to photo shoot or sex. It’s this lack of intimacy, minimum effort for two people to get to a slight bit of each other, and this “come (cum) and go” formula that to me are very off-putting. However, like all things in life, it happens, sometimes.

This morning, I was complaining to another photographer who shot the same model as me. His photos turned out to be great. They are gorgeous. I looked at the photos I took. They are like “meh…”. I simply didn’t feel it. It was cloudy and we didn’t have proper space in the apartment for him to dance and pose. All in all, something didn’t click. We had one hour or so, which didn’t help to explore and find the right ingredients to create something extraordinary.

I wonder if same can be said about sex. The mixture of location, time, chemistry contributes to the experience of sex. Grindr, I browse it from time to time, seeing the same boys in the same neighborhood. Occasionaly, messages come, “hey, what are you up to?” Most of the time I don’t know the answer myself. Suddenly we all become social handicapped on these so called social medias. We consume sex like fast food, ready to act on it, hopping from one to another without much remorse. How frustrating!

You see, I am not against quickies per se provided that there’s some sort of connection. It applies for photo shoot too. I remember there was once or twice when I took photos of models before I got to know them well. There was not much communication either. We didn’t know what each other wanted. But there were also shoots where the energy was right and the vibe was there. I really felt comfortable and close to the person himself. That’s when we usually came out with great results.

“P” contacted me on Instagram while I was posting steamy hot photos of a shoot I had just done in Berlin. Obviously he was attracted somehow by the idea of posing naked in front of the camera. A fantasy, you can say. I like to shoot people who want to have new experiences. It’s a courageous thing. I know myself well enough to say that I admire them. God knows how many fantasies I have but don’t have the gut to do something about it.

He only had 1 hour. We arranged the shoot very last minutely by texting a friend of mine to borrow his bedroom for the shoot. Luckily my friend agreed. He arrived almost at 9 pm after his work stuff. I was there a bit earlier to get familiar with the environment. When “P” showed up, I immediately liked him. Just like how he texted me, he’s slim, his wavy hair half covering his face. He’s shy but not too shy.

We entered the small bedroom upstairs, out of the window pitch dark. I told him, “Look, I just got this new light panel. I will try it and we snap some photos. We will see how it goes.” Then we started. He took off his jumper, then his socks and brief, revealing his hairy body in front of me. His casual attitude hid the fact that it’s his first nude photo shoot. And yet I could see he’s already a bit excited.

He repeated again, “No face. Promise that you will let me decide which photos to post later”. I assured him once again, just like before the photo shoot started. He wants to stay anonymous. I understand when models request that. It’s mainly job related reason. Sometimes the experience of posing naked is still too new for them to feel 100% comfortable with the idea of seeing their naked body on the internet. I am fine with anonymity as our face is just another body part. In a way, I like the challenge to capture the person’s essence/mood more. I have to say that I like his face, as there is a kind of vulnerability in his facial expression, which I find very interesting.

I clicked the shutter button while “P” put himself in different position in bed. It’s definitely a quickie. There’s not much time to reflect on the next position. We simply went with the flow. I could feel the uneasiness in him when some positions were too compromising. And yet he tried his best to give me what he could. After one hour, the shoot was done. He put on his brief, his jumper and at last his socks. I love the moment like this. When it creates a reluctant feeling towards the end, it means I enjoyed the whole process. “Hey, I hope you felt comfortable.” “Yes, I did.” “Great. Let’s see how the photos look like, but don’t have high expectation.” “No problem.”

Then he left. I later remembered that I forgot to give him a hug. It would have been so nice.