I booked my trip to Lisbon in January, planning to spend 5 days there meeting some old friends and shooting a few new models. I thought it was going to be a relaxing one, as I knew the city well enough and the idea of seeing some familiar faces was very comforting.

Then Manu sent me a message on IG, saying I should visit them in Barcelona. He was one of my followers. We chatted before and I knew he and his boyfriend Diego were from Argentina. They did some kind of cam show on cam4.com and had a onlyfans account. We wanted to do some shoots together.

The idea of shooting sex is exciting, because for me sex is still something ultimately intimate. It’s not only physical contact and pleasure, but it involves a lot of other aspects, such as passion, chemistry, desire, lust, love… I remember one model who went to all sorts of sex parties once told me that he always searched for connection and love via sex as if sex had a kind of healing power. Interesting.

Manu kindly offered to host me in Barcelona. Just like that, I shortened my stay in Lisbon and added Barcelona to my travel plan. I guess I only truly became drawn to this city after my first taleofmen trip to Barcelona one year ago, because of the boys I met. They were sexy, that for sure, and easygoing. Different from boys in Berlin who put so much emphasis on their individualities/being themselves, I find boys in Barcelona simple/naive in a good way.

Oh, did I forget to mention the parities in Barcelona? I still remember the last time when I was here, Markus sent me a message in the early morning when we were supposed to have our photo shoot, “Don’t be surprised when you come here later. Just wanna give you a head up as my husband just brought a group of boys home after the party. They are still here.”

That was the first time I saw so many handsome sexy boys in one small apartment, in their undies, drunk or/and high. They created a bubble inside, like the world outside had nothing to do with them. Music was loud. Everyone was carefree. It didn’t mind what happened. The energy was cool and open.

It turned out that Manu and Diego were hosting two other friends, Timo & Paolo from Argentina while I was there. In the beginning I was worried about how we were gonna put 5 adults in their apartment. Soon I found out that the boys would go to parties every night. The schedule was like, dinner around 9pm, going out for a drink at a friend’s place around 11pm, going to parties after midnight, coming back home the next day around 9am. So I had the apartment all for myself!

After they got back, they would sleep in the same bed, all of them. Sometimes they would kiss, heat things up, as if they were all lovers to each other. I found it amusing and incredibly sexy. I might have got shocked if I hadn’t seen so many things while doing the project in the past two years. Now, only one thing matters, why not if they are happy? Loving each other, for a limited period of time, should be a reason good enough. During the day, I saw them together, walking hand in hand, it’s simple and it’s beautiful

Markus and I were also going to have a shoot. The plan was to shoot Daniel, a boy from Colombia, together. However, I got a message from Markus again in the same morning, saying “the party came to me again, there are 30 boys in my apartment. Come and you can shoot them! Hurry!” It was 7am! “Ok, ok, I am coming!”

I packed my camera bag and drove to Markus’ apartment. The place was exactly like the last time, packed with boys. Different boys, of course. I started to click the shutter trying to capture the fleeing moments and the energy emitting from those boys . I noticed some were shy and some were fun. I wondered if it was an utopia for them, no matter for whatever reasons, they came here to harness a sense of safety or peace.