I started to have sex at a very young age. Both my parents worked all day, so I was alone at home after school.
A few weeks before my 13th birthday I invited in a door to door insurance salesman, and I remember taking his clothes off, pulling down his pants and being so happy to see a men naked in front of me at my disposal to do what I wanted. I had seen naked man before in the locker rooms, but it was always forbidden to watch, always a quick glimpse of their bodies, a secret peek that shouldn’t be made. This time it was all mine, I could stare, touch and feel every part of him and it made me so happy. I didn’t know who he was and after that day I only saw him 5 years later when he rang the door bell again. But this time I wasn’t alone in my house, so I got scared cause I was still in the closet, my parents weren’t supportive at all of me being gay, so I sent him off without even getting a chance to know his name.
Today I’m 38 and I can see now that we’ve been taught to believe sex with strangers is bad or shameful, but if it comes from a place of love or innocence, of searching a connection with someone, even if it’s just for a few minutes, or the rush of an erotic encounter, it can be great if you let go of the prejudices and if you’re not hurting anyone involved, it’s a beautiful thing to embrace your sexuality. To feel comfortable in your own body, and to accept yourself just as you are. Even though it’s not easy, and it’s an every day thing to work on.
Yoga has helped me a lot with my body issues, I was a shy chubby boy with no friends, who wouldn’t even take his shirt off to go to the pool because I was too embarrassed of my body, and today there’s nothing I enjoy more than practicing yoga naked and taking pictures of the shapes my body can make. I feel more connected to my body, to nature, to my sexual energy.
Because sex shouldn’t be a taboo, it should feel natural.
I’ve learned to love and be kinder to myself after I realized that I should treat me like I would treat my best friends, or even the way I would treat those strangers I have sex with.