I met him when I was 27. I remember that lobby of the hotel. His first glance. And me trembling. Our journey began at that moment. All the romantic songs could describe our feelings. We fell in love. Blindly. And trustfully.
We were ready for that big step and we said to each other “I do”. He was the one and only for me. I was happy coming home after work. I was singing all my love songs to him. He was inspiring me and I was doing my best to make his life better with my love, care and support.
Who knew that this story wasn’t supposed to have a happy ending. One day I found out that my beloved was seeing other people. For close communication. When I wasn’t near him. For me that was not normal. I would even say that it was an unacceptable model of relationships. I got lost and I had to choose. To stay or to leave. But where to leave? As the rest of the world was telling me that I put myself in a cage and didn’t let myself be free and enjoy life to its fullest. I became angry as I got zero support from the community where I belong.
But hatred never leads us to victory. If we want to be understood, we have to understand first.
It was a long way of accepting. But I had to go through this hell to find the answers. Love exists. It may be different. Between two only. Or among many simultaneously. Everyone deserves an option to make a choice in this variety. And choose a melody that is played by a duet or become a part of an orchestra. Love is stronger than the formats.
I had to leave my husband, cause I wanted him to be happy. I had to leave to get myself out from the storming sea as I could not row for two anymore when the boat was sinking. I had to leave to find peace and that special one, who has the same views as I have. I had to leave to learn how to accept and hear others instead of judging them because of their differences.
Now each of us is living our lives in a way we want to, but I am still the only one who goes to water his flowers when he is on vacation.