I used to hate my body. I was the one on the beach in a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. I would never take any clothes off, always comparing myself to the muscly ones, thinking that their lives were perfect. Its a dangerous thing to judge your insides with someone else’s outsides. I found false confidence in alcohol, and validation from one night stands, and the more I did it the more empty I felt. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in, never satisfied, never believing that I belonged.
I grew up in a small town in the north east of England, where people worked hard, drank harder and raised families. It was a very homophobic and violent place.I have 3 metal screws in my face from a homophobic attack that left my cheekbone broken in 3 places. I was bullied so much at school that I had to transfer.When I was 19 I got as far away from the town as possible, and studied at a university on the south coast. I moved to London to pursue a career in fashion, and lived there for 10 years doing the same routine: work, pub, sex, and not much sleep. London is huge but my life there was very small. Whilst living in the middle of the gay scene, I hit rock bottom and came to a turning point. There had to be more to life than this. I knew my whole lifestyle had to change, but had no idea how to do it.
I was offered a job in Brussels and I wanted to know how I would handle living in another country, so I packed up my things and moved. I hit another problem. I was trying live my old routine with a different perspective and it wasn’t working. I had to let go of my old ideas on how to be a gay man.While searching for something else other than the gay scene I stumbled into Tantra and Sexological Bodywork. It was there I found my sexual, sensual self. I learned how to respect my body, and how to reach my full erotic capacity with no additional stimulants. Sexological Bodywork is sex education + mindfulness through body based practices. Body based practices are things like breath work, movement, and the one-on-one sessions can also involve touch from practitioner to client, like mapping (focusing on an area of the body to allow the client to notice sensations). Popular inquiries involve early ejaculation issues, lack of sensations, disconnections in the body, erection issues, and general curiosity on how to receive and give more pleasure.
I had finally found my tribe, and it was there I found my purpose; to share the tools I picked up along the way, to educate other men and women on how to create new pathways to pleasure. A friend and I started a Meetup group called MenSexuality, where we use bodywork and sacred intimacy teachings as inspiration to create workshops for men who want to explore their sexuality and sensuality. It’s also an alternative social group from the bars, clubs and apps.
I am still living in Brussels 7 years later and I love every aspect of my life. These days I am happy in my own skin. I’m convinced I have the best friends in the world! I am grateful for everything the universe has given me. Every failure and every mistake has been a gift, as I’ve learned something meaningful and positive along the way. Im still learning how not to take as I believe its through giving that one receives. But most of all, I’ve learned to accept myself and others as they are.
You can check out Kevin’s website: HERE