Two years ago i went through the worst time of my life. during and after break ups of a nine year relationship and more than ten years friendships with two people. I knew something different was going on and could feel, that those people, who were my closest ones, my most loved and trusted ones…
I remember one day when I was in kindergarten, Santa came to our school and brought us presents. There were two kinds of presents, dolls for girls and cars for boys. I think you can guess which one I wanted… So, all the kids were in line to get their presents. I was so excited… I couldn’t…
I am both a god and a piece of meat. I am adored and disrespected, often both at the same time. I wanted to make porn for about ten years, ever since I had the chance to perform in live sex shows with pornstar (and my teenage wank-fantasy) Ashley Ryder in London’s gay sex clubs.…
A few years ago, I moved to other country. There were many doubts and dilemmas. I consider myself a cowardly person, cos I’m still thinking too much about the consequences. Sometimes, I act on impulse as such a decision to move to an unfamiliar place because of personal dissatisfaction – ranging from unresolved relationships, or…
When I was young and growing up in the country I always thought life is endless. Of course it is not. I always thought I had an incredible number of ways to shape my life. That is probably the case. But I was too inexperienced and without self-esteem. I have only discovered and used a…
Talking to you about me is talking about someone I can no longer get back to, someone that I know from the past, the path that led me here and now. And yet the person I am is constantly seeking for the other self that lays ahead, because I know other versions changed, and I…
Before coming out I had to build enough confidence to do it. As a child and teenager I heard, a lot of times, jokes and that it was wrong to play with girls and with their toys, whether it was from people close to me, at school, the priest at church preaching about how freak…
When I was asked to write my story, I first thought that it was impossible. I always thought that I did not have a story because I’m nobody. This is what happens to you when you begin to dissect the atoms of reality. The result is a cold, mechanical vision of the world. Who am…
I had a beautiful relationship with a wonderful guy, for 5 happy years. I had boyfriends before (I was 23 at the time), but none of those relationships felt quite so ‘easy’. There had always been doubts, uncertainties and bad communication, so they didn’t last very long. However, I knew I was capable of loving…
I moved to Berlin two and a half years ago. I had been living in London before then, and living there did terrible things to my mental health. I was working a job which I didn’t care much for, in a city where the cost of living was rising and the quality of life was…
