I met Bram on Grindr. I had been partying all night and wanted to end it in style. We quickly hit it off and the one who should have been a one-night stand became a friend. It happened naturally, without any pressure.
A fan of one-night stands, I don’t like to force myself to see someone again. These days, I have the feeling that we want to go too fast in our relationships, including sex.
Under the pretext that “it was good” we want to start over immediately, with the risk of spoiling the memory of this past moment. It becomes an automatism.
Sex with apps loses its flavor, it becomes mechanical both in the act and in the exchange with the one in front of us. We dehumanize sex, partners become interchangeable, we seek the multiplication of pleasures without other considerations. This is not a generality, just one of the realities that I have faced and applied myself.
I developed bad habits, neglecting the main thing: the feeling. With Bram it was different, he was cool, smiling, full of infectious energy and desire. We had this feeling. Without any expectations on either side, it happened. We stayed in touch afterwards, he came back to my house several times and the desire I felt for him at the start did not weaken, as did our understanding and his good humor.
What differs with him is that he doesn’t expect just sex. He loves to travel and meet people, sex is ultimately just the icing on the cake. It changes “my” normality, the mechanical, the Parisian. So it was only natural that he offered me this photoshoot.
I hesitated for a long time because as far back as I can remember, I have always had this shyness, this prudery to show myself especially when it is not on my initiative. On the contrary, I am very comfortable in public. In the end, it doesn’t require any particular effort because the more noise you make, the less people are interested in you.
It takes an infinite amount of time to reveal myself but besides that I have no reservations about showing myself naked. Can you get to know someone by seeing them naked? Not sure. And yet that’s the fear I had. We will see the result. Don’t we say that a photograph can sometimes steal a part of the soul?