There was a time in my life when I was very mcuh into modeling. Mostly -if not only- nude. I’d do it for me though. Because I find it very artistic and it shows me a different perspective of my body.
There was this photographer once that approached me and asked me to model for him. I liked his work and he seemed okay, so I accepted. I went to his studio and we’d be alone in the whole building. I got undressed and started the photoshoot. I was sitting on a chair blindfolded, posing for him. And then he started touching me. At first to fix my body, so I didn’t pay attention. Then he touched my dick. I moved a bit to show that I wasn’t okay with it, but then he continued. It was very clear what he wanted then..
I panicked inside but didn’t show it. I just followed what’s happening as he was way bigger than me and we were in an empty building. Therefore I didn’t know what could happen. Scared of how things could turn out, I let him do whatever he wanted.
Speaking up isn’t always that easy.
I left the place with the most destroyed ego. Thinking that no one’s taking me seriously. They just wanna have sex with me. That I’m not doing art, I’m not worthy and I’m only being approached by others so they can fuck me.
Luckily, time heals everything and working on yourself really helps. But it took me so much time to get back to where I was and, thankfully, I only got stronger after this.