Once, I fell in love 

It was such a nice meeting in the summer. Everything looked like it was in a movie. I was traveling, discovering a lot about so many European countries with my friend and suddenly, it appeared. 

We were in Albania, joining a free tour with other travelers then I saw him. His dark curly hair, his little eyes, his curiosity, and innocence. I didn’t understand what I felt, but I felt it and thought he did as well. It’s a moment when reasons and explanatons barely make sense. However I had never been so certain before about my feelings.

After the tour, we had a drink with him and others from the tour. What a time! From there we had what we can call a crush. We had some walks in the city, visiting places, laughing for nothing, talking about our lives and our travels, eating at restaurants and drinking wine, spending time at bars until the end of the night, and chilling in parks to enjoy the sun.

We kissed for the first time on the rooftop of a museum and had three incredible days together before leaving each other to continue our own roads. But we already were in love. We continued chatting for six months, almost every day, trying to prolong what we experienced till the day we could meet again.

And that day arrived when he came to Brussels for a week. The feelings were still there till the moment he left. Don’t know exactly what changed for him after but I never saw him again. This is a painful moment. Looking back now, it feels like years ago, all the things and feelings we once have shared. 

Nowadays I’m wondering if I’m still able to feel something for someone. As a LGBTQIA+ person, I find it difficult to explore romance and sexuality. The heteronormative representation and the references portrayed by the porn industry influence the way we have fun and the way we fall in love, but they are so disconnected from our real life and identity.

I’ve seen a lot of people around me struggling with their feelings and being afraid of love or living in a world of fantasies that never satisfy them. And I am part of it. A real single guy for years yet, and maybe for life, desperately dreaming about a special romance.