I am an Italian guy in my 30s, I left Italy in 2014 to start following my dream job which took me places. Around Europe I learned a lot about people and myself. I learned that the world is a small place and that there are many beautiful souls.
This talk will be about myself, I wanna tell you about my personality and body development and transformation.
When I was a teenager my body was completely different, I was almost obese. I had a totally different look. I was feeling uncomfortable, shy, not appreciated. I also experienced bullying when I was at the medium school, which anyway gave me the chance to develop a strong side of myself, and I’m greatful about it. Then something changed in my mind and I said to myself that I had to start working on it and for myself, and why not, for others too. I wanted to lose weight si I started to lose weight, going to the gym. At some point finally after many years, I started noticing that people were looking at me. However I was still insecure because I was thinking: are they looking at the old me or the new me?
Finally I could objectively see the first results of my changing and I wanted to celebrate it starting to showing off my body to the world. I started to take photos of myself, naked, in underwear, dressed. I started to expose them online and people seem to be interested and like them. People were asking to see more and I was feeling appreciated. I also started to like nudity both indoor and outdoors. It came a time that I went to a nudist park in Berlin, the Tiergarten, the main and biggest park of the city, with some Italian guys I have met on Instagram. There I have realised that it actually wasn’t really important how good you look, but the main thing was the acceptance of being naked among other people. The funny thing was that of course there were also people dressed passing by and cycling as well as tourists taking photos of this incredible scenario.
It was like I was living an erotic dream and finally photographers started to noticing me. I had various shootings over the years, even some crazy ones where I was tied up, blindfolded, and bonded up. I didn’t know what do at the beginning, and I was waiting for the photographer to tell me how to act, but it didn’t take long as he wanted to immortalise my real feeling. And they were a mix of excitement, pain, joy. I probably was finding joy in the pain. Something that I always wanted to try, even in a sexual way, however I always felt scared about it since you have to find someone you really trust for this kind of practices. I finally found a photographer interested in this theme and since it was in a shooting environment I felt safe. There was even a make up artist who helped give a real look to the whole scene. I felt important, I felt I was doing something really cool. It made me feel like a star. And for the first time I felt like a real model.
I started to feel very confident and I was proud of the results coming out of the shootings. I never saw myself from those perspectives and I was really surprised, in a positive way.
