The thrill of completely being naked out in nature – constant on the lookout if someone is near and scared if someone can see – but hoping one does. A feeling that I was searching for daily. Being seen. Arrousing. Getting people turned on. Curious. Horny.
Growing up in a seemingly well off and gated environment, freedom and self expression were not something that was a given. My life was pretty much already laid out & written down. Talking about sex, affection or even feelings was a big no.
My upbringing was not so much strict – moreso supervised. That feeling of being limited can take a big toll on the long run of someone’s life. Not being able to explore, experience, learn. Doing what is being told. Be a good boy. A nice boy.
Like any other sexually confused teenager I looked for outlets. Arts, music, clubs, sex, wellness, alcohol, drugs, sports. Anything that could transport me into another world where I could be free – myself. Whatever that guy looked like.
Tumblr was still a thing when I was exploring my creativity & sexuality. Seeing people be so free & open about sex really sparked my curiosity. Something that specifically caught my attention was exhibitionism & cruising culture. Being seen naked by other people. Why would someone even do that? What is even the point of that?
I started to fantasize & picture myself doing the same as I saw in those online videos. Sweaty on a 10K forest run. No one’s around. Getting horny. Undoing my shorts. Taking of my sweaty compression shirt. Standing naked with only my socks and shoes on. Dripping wet. Jerking off my dick.
At the beginning it only stayed with fantasizing. Until I finally had the nerve to do it. Sweaty on a 10K forest run. No one’s around. Getting horny. I took my phone out and placed it on a tree branch. I felt scared to be caught – yet incredibly hot that I was doing the same as the guys in the videos. I could become one of them. Getting people horny & arroused by public play. Horny & arroused by seeing me playing with myself. Teasing. Curious. Hot. Wet.
The idea sparked my interest. Not thinking much of it – I started a twitter account and online persona. BLVCKT. An anonymous sporty guy that gets his thrill from being naked in nature.
My videos caught on pretty quickly. 100 followers. 500 followers. 15000 followers. The virtual space that once served as a dirty little secret blossomed into a platform for self-expression, exploration of sexuality, and acceptance – of myself.