Photo by Berlinlandscapes
I’ve never been a big fan of myself
I’ve never been a fan of my skinny body
I always thought I am no more than my brilliant and and vivid intelligence… till last year.
Last year me and my boyfriend were on holiday in Sicily where we own a flat, we are both Italian. It was October, the sun was still warm and clear, beaches were desert, I put my speedo off and run into the water to make a swim. My boyfriend, who loves me and my body much more than I do, started taking pictures of me running on the beach and lying at the sun… when he showed me the results, I was astonished! I love those shoots!
Back in Berlin, where we live since 2011, he told me to post some of these pictures on my instagram account. I was unsure and thought, why should I do it?
In the end I did and I was, again, very surprised of myself. I never thought I would share such intimate things of me on a social media platform, I’ ve never been a fan of social media too.
After this “experiment” I decided that I needed a sort of “counterbalance”, some sort of lightness in my too often over-complicated life. I became more active on instagram and got to know some other men who share the same interest and “meet” a photographer. I wrote him, we met for a coffee at Marietta in Prenzlauer Berg. My boyfriend was with me.
We had a brief chat and decided to meet to shoot the Sunday after.
During this very first shooting I was, again and now for the third time, totally surprised on how much natural it was for me to get naked in front of someone I did not know a week before. We spent a couple of hours together and took more than 200 pictures. When he posted the first of these on his IG account I was delighted to see my naked body, laying in a bathtub, with drops on my chest… I loved it straightaway and was proud of it!
From that day, something change in the relationship with my body and I started posting and posting. The echo of friends, family and unknown follower was overwhelming and I thought this was a good thing. It gives me that lightness I strongly was looking for!
Many other shoots and photos have followed that rainy Sunday afternoon in Berlin Friedrichshain and more yet to come… waiting to have my first naked outdoor shooting in a week or so…
I am proud of me, of my body, of my boyfriend who encouraged me to try and put his jealousy by side, of my photographer and above all of my never sated curiosity in life.
I am still not a big fan of myself, but I like me more than, falsely, I used to.